20 year old guy dating 16 year old
The fear for guys is that by being a virgin past this nebulous date, they will have not only missed their chance to sew their wild oats – because of course, nobody over the age of 35 has no-strings-attached sex but they will be so clearly marked as “damaged goods” that no woman would possibly want them.
Small wonder that they have issues finding that first sex partner; it’s their that ends up causing them problems, rather than their relative state of inexperience.
You are no wiser, more mature or otherwise changed from who you were minutes beforehand; the only difference is that you now have a set of memories that you didn’t have before and the need to shower and change the sheets.
Having had sex doesn’t validate you as a person, nor does it somehow confirm that you have worth or that you’ve been devalued by the experience.
Women on the other hand are taught that their sexual desirability has a built in expiration date; pass a specific point and nobody will have want to have sex with you, not when they could bang someone younger instead.
This gets especially caught up in the (admittedly old-fashioned) idea of women being an “old maid” if they haven’t found a partner or spouse by an equally random age.